Excerpt from Matters of the Heart:
Have you ever wondered why you attract what you attract? Friends, suitors, opportunities; a lot of these are linked directly to your profile.
What do people see when they meet you? No, not what you THINK they see; what they actually see.
This is the very question that many people tend to answer wrong. We look into the mirror and see Mr Universe, Miss World; we see all that is good. I am not asking that we push down on our worth but it is always safer to court humility even when overblown.
If we were able to see ourselves for what we really are, then we would know what we should be working on. Not knowing what or where we lack links to not knowing what and where we need to improve.
Growth will take us through different stages, which require different things of us. Unfortunately, a lot of us mix up the requirements.
If you are looking for a husband, your profile should be that of an individual looking for a husband. This way, you help yourself increase the chances of securing one. This is not to say that one should hang an invisible banner of desperation on the forehead, you just need to look the part and be the part.
The club, for example, is not a place you typically go to, claiming to be searching for a husband or even a wife (This is not to say that people have not found partners there), it is very unlikely and when one does, frequently results in a mismatch. Everything about you needs to align with where you see yourself and where you want to be. You are not going to find a husband dressed as a “one-nighter”, same for how you talk, walk, behave generally.
Like all job interviews, the first thing a new contact triggers is a profile check (including preliminary analysis); if anything interesting exists then deeper analysis follows.
If the first thing women notice about you is arrogance, you are going to find it hard getting a good girl (actually, this part is a mystery, as good girls tend to keep missing it). Generally, a bad attitude will run you down fast.
Your profile is very important, your knowledge of the profile is even more important. Study yourself, listen to feedbacks and comments, assess from a third person perspective. You can always make something better.
You are a reflection of the people you attract. You will see the first as an accident, the second as a coincidence, but from the third, you should wake up to reality. If “timberland & baggies” boys keep walking up to you, it is an indication of what aura you are giving off. Similarly, if you keep attracting women who just want your money, this is showing you the person you are.
To keep doing the same thing the same way and expecting different results is an unsuitable way to go about life. Embrace periodic positive changes, be not afraid to admit when you have been wrong, as it is never too late to turn back and face the right direction.
If you dress skimpy, you will attract people looking for females who dress skimpy, simple. Husbands and boyfriends are not the same. While both are males seeking females, they are looking for different qualities, different things. People often make it seem like you need to become boring in the name of maturity hence resist the change, NO.
We already have a generalised mental image of what we call “material”. (Husband or wife).
It is the same way we profile people who walk up to us. If you are not going to take seriously a man on sagged baggy shorts, heavy chains, muscle top and tinted hair, why will you expect your own show of “civilisation” to be a hit? Wake up.
Decency still works, looking smart still rocks, intelligent talks; these are the things people first notice. To lack in these departments is to miss it on arrival. All the other things in the package will not matter if people lose interest before they know. This one book WILL be judged by its cover, before its contents.
You cannot totally control how people interpret what they see but at least you can control what they see. Help yourself here and there.